Lukes Fanfic

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Lukes Fanfic Empty Lukes Fanfic

Post by Luke on Fri Feb 19, 2010 2:00 am

Ok before you totally disregard this because it is Eragon, since I know most of you guys are Die hard PJO fans but please read it. Note I dont think its very organized Its about seven chap. if I remeber.

Chapter one
: Winds of fate

A warm sea breeze swept through Kuasta, filling the evening with a sweet
seaweed aroma.

A young boy stood alone along the rocky sea shore, fiddling with his paints and
parchment. He had been waiting over a week to capture this moment. It had been
storming the last few days, making it impossible to witness this perfect
display of nature’s beauty.

The glowing sun was setting, and the sky was a brilliant display of hot pinks,
yellows and reds.

The boy took a step back, as to admire the sight for a while, and then walked
slowly over to a crudely built table. He had made this table just for this
painting. The table was made of a light colored wood, which he had found along
the beach, and it was being supported by a large stone boulder.

On the table top were a few treasures he had found
along the beach. They ranged from decretive seashells, to the rusty chain mail
of a deceased soldier, long dead and forgotten. Above all else, he cherished
the rusty old mail.

At times he put it on, as to get away from his troubles, pretending to be one
of the legendary dragon riders of Alagaesia, cutting down his imaginary foes
with his mighty sword. He imagined himself saving his love from an evil
magician, and then flying off into the sunset with his dragon and his love,
into the beyond.

Just as Brom wet his brush he remembered why he was there. Remembering he threw
down his brush. Today was different he thought. He didn’t have time to
fantasize or paint. He had to warn the town of the Urgal camp he had discovered
earlier that day.

Urgals where foul treacherous animals with long rounded horns who enjoyed
violence and the taste of flesh or so he was taught by his parents. He must
warn them for from what he saw at their camp they were preparing for battle.
His first attempt to warn them failed. Brom Thought back to earlier today.

It was the same as any other day he and his sister were going to the shore
early to watch the sunrise. It was sort of a superstation in his family. How
did the saying go again oh yeah he thought I remember.

Those who miss the early suns light
Shall be cursed throughout the night

Brom was told this and many other superstations ever since he was a child. His
sister was still learning much of them. Brom was given the task to make sure
Rachel learned every last one so that she may grow up to be an intelligent
woman or by Kuastas standards.

Rachel skipped happily while Brom trudged slowly behind her rubbing the sleep
out of his eyes.

“You wake earlier than the elves “he mumbled. She stopped and waited for her
sleepy brother. When he finally caught up she punched him playfully on the

“That’s cause I am an elf silly” she said.

“O really. What did you do to your ears than” He teased. She opened her mouth
but closed it unsure how to answer. Before she could think of a response they
reached the forest in front of the shore. He paused something was different
about the forest. As they entered he noticed a tree that had been punctured by
four arrows. He looked at the bottom of the tree and found a black piece of
silk. That’s strange he thought It almost looks Elvin. Before he could examine
the silk more closely he felt a tug at his tunic.

“Race you to the sea Brom” she challenged

“Your on” he said, relieved. He didn’t feel safe after he found those arrows.
They where much longer than the human ones he had seen.

“Ready set, don’t fall behind” she said

“What” he said surprised but she was already several feet in front of him.

“He wait up…..oh ow shi!” He tripped on a root from a nearby pine and fell into
a sharp rosebush. His face imprinted itself on the dead leaves below. He opened
his eyes and felt his blood trickle down his face. He took a deep breath
swallowed the pain and stood up. He yelped and pulled a thorn from his eyelid.
He brushed the leaves and dirt off his tunic and reorientated himself.

He turned and found himself face to face with a dark hooded figure with dark
maroon eyes glistening like blood. His hands were pale as if there wasn’t any
pigment in his hands, but yet his hair was a brilliant crimson red reflecting
the bright sunlight through the trees. He looked down at Brom and smirked.

“Looking for your sister are we. Hmmm little Brom would be in quite a lot of
trouble if he were to lose her” the man said.

The hairs on the back of Broms neck stood up. There was something wrong with
this man. Brom’s first thought was run but his eyes made him freeze. It seemed
as if they were glazed with hatred.

“Who are...?” Brom started. The man cut him off.

“I believe your sister went that way” He gestured. Brom turned to see where he
had pointed.
He returned to looking at the man. He was confused, was this man a friend or
foe he thought. The man broke the silence.

“I will be seeing you around Brom” the man said smiling and evaporated into
black smoke.

Brom still felt shaken as he walked in the direction the man had pointed out.
He had never seen magic and didn’t care to see it again if it was like that. I
wasn’t scared the man’s skin or even his hair Brom thought, it was just his
They looked evil. If looks could kill Brom imagined he would already be in the
void. As he walked he notice shards of arrows similar to the one he found
earlier. Am I insane. I need to get out out of here and find Rachel.

Brom quickened his pace for the next few minutes until he found himself on a
cliff overlooking an Urgal settlement. No that’s impossible the riders killed
them off and sent what was left of them to the north he thought. Then why are
they here so near to my village? His thoughts flashed back to the crimson
haired man, was this his doing he thought.

Before he could answer himself he heard a voice grumble to the left,”Kerik is
always putting us on patrol duty. One of these days I’m gonna break his skull.”
Said the smaller of the two Urgals.

The Urgals were walking up the side of the cliff heading right towards Brom.
Thinking quickly Brom dove behind the closest tree. His tunic brushed against
the trunk covering it in mud. Well it could be worse he muttered at least this
tree doesn’t have thorns.

The Urgals where now standing three feet away were Brom was not even 30 seconds

“Well when were done Durza will free our brothers in
the north” exclaimed the taller of the two. “But for now were stuck on guard
duty.” he grumbled.

After, what seemed hours the Urgals scaled back down the cliff complaining
about their patrol duty. Brom waited a couple more seconds before exiting his
hiding place. He didn’t know where to start. Should I warn the village or find
Rachel he thought. He deiced quickly. I must warn the town
Rachel is old enough to find her way home by herself.

The town is more important no matter how much I love her. He turned around and
sprinted all the way back to Kuasta. He was not interrupted this time.

He ran into town not bothering to greet his friend Luke or even the town
blacksmith Renald. He was not even twenty feet away from his house when he
heard a voice he knew too well.

“Brom you get in this house NOW!”Screamed his mom. He was used to his mother
being angry. She always seemed to yell at Brom for her problems. For once Brom
listened to her and was rewarded by a hard tug on the ear.

“Oww err let go” whinnied Brom as he was dragged by his ear into the living
room by his angry mother.

“I will deal with you later” she whispered to Brom.

His father was in the room selling one of his farths to a hooded man and Rachel
was sitting on a chair in the Kitchen humming to herself. Brom let out a sigh
of relief when he saw Rachel in the kitchen. Thank the gods she’s ok he

“Ahh my wife Nelda she is always yelling at my poor son” Brom heard his father
Holocomb mutter to his client under his breath. Brom had to smile Holocomb
always stood up for him.

“Where were we, o yes so you’ll be buying the elvish fairth for…?”

“700 Holocomb” the man said taking his hood off and releasing long flowing
crimson hair. He turned and stared at Brom with his blood colored eyes and smiled.
It was the man he had met in the woods. Brom eyed the silver dagger on the
mantle over the fire place. I might need that he thought.

“Do you want anything to drink” Holocomb offered the man. The man returned
looking at Brom's father.

“Yes a cup of salt water mead if you have it thanks” he said politely.

“Coming right up” Holocomb said. When Holocomb left the room Brom looked over
at the man just long enough to catch him mouth two words, you’re dead.

Brom without thinking reached over to the mantle and grabbed the silver dagger
and dove at the demon. The man didn’t even try to defend himself. He just stood
there smiling. Brom’s dagger connected with, air.

How in the world he thought. He pulled back the dagger behind in a second
attempt, but before he could follow through his father walked in holding a tray
with drinks on it. When he saw Brom he dropped the tray. Glass shattered

“What in the Gods name are you doing Brom” yelled his father. Brom had never
heard his father this angry before.

“Your son is crazy.” The man said with artificial fear.
“I’m terribly sorry Durza.” Holocomb apologized. Brom knew that name. It was
the man the Urgals in the woods where speaking of.

“Father has evil” Brom whimpered.

“Silence Brom, get out. You’ve disgraced me take your paints and paint a
picture better than this fairth or you won’t be living here anymore. And you
better hope it sells boy.” He father said sternly.

Brom tried to reason with him but his father just pointed to the door. Brom
grabbed his paints and ran out the door dagger still in hand tears streming
down his face. I guess I will paint the sun set he thought, I finally can he
thought. He went to the beach to paint even if his heart wasn’t in it. He was
very worried about his town. He reached the beach feeling a little better at
the sight of the sun set.


I must warn them. He left his paints on the table and his eyes caught the old
mail. I might need that he said picking it up. He put it on over his tunic and
tightened the straps. He felt calmer with the mail on somehow. He drew the
dagger and headed towards home. He was only going to make one stop. The forest
was deathly quiet even with Brom trampling over all the sticks and dead leaves.
He finally reached the cliff and looked down fearing what he would see. He
looked down confirming his fear. The Urgal's village was completely abandoned.
There wasn’t any trace that there had ever been inhabitants of the small wooden
shanties. He didn’t need to ponder where they went he knew. He sprinted home he
would stop Durza at all costs.


Brom reached the end of the forest and was blinded by light. When he opened his
eyes a horrific sight lay before him. The town he had grown up in, the town he
loved was aflame. The inferno was so great that the smoke blacked out the moon.
I’ve never seen so much fire he thought. Anger and adrenalin coursed through
Brom's veins as he ran through the town.

The town was in chaos. Bodies of the villagers lay in piles on the streets.
Urgals chased survivors around with axes hoping for some bloodshed. One Urgal
snarled and charged Brom. Instinct took over. Brom side stepped the brute and
stabbed him in the back. The Urgal fell with a loud thud onto the brick road.

Brom continued his lungs were on fire from all the smoke. He reached the house
which to his relief was not a flame. He kicked in the door. Durza stood before
him holding a red sword to Rachel’s neck.

“Hello Brom we’ve been waiting for you” he said. He waved his hand and two
Urgals entered to room holding his parents.

“What do you want” Brom said.

“Nothing you can provide. The riders should be here soon and by then you will
be dead” he mused.

“I’m sorry son you where right about Durza. No matter what happens we love you”
Holocomb said. His mom nodded in agreement.

“Ha love what a pointless emotion. It’s the temporary constructs of a feeble
human intellect trying to justify an existence that is without meaning or
purpose.” Durza said.

“You’re wrong” Nelda said. Durza turned to her and cracked his neck. He let go
of Rachel. He walked over and leaned over her shoulder and whispered in her ear

“O and whys that Nelda”

“Because love is the reason people like you never survive” she said.

“I am very much alive unlike you too” His hands glowed white and inhuman scream
piecereced the night. Durza's palms dimmed to reveal two white skeletons lying
in shambles on the ground. He smiled at his handiwork.

“You’re a monster” Brom said. He pulled the Dagger out of his tunic and charged
Durza. Durza wasn’t expecting Brom to move that quick and was cut across the
face. All that did was enrage Durza. He grabbed Brom by the neck and stabbed
him in his shoulder.

Rachel let out a scream of terror as her brother dropped to the floor. Durza
knelt down at Brom’s side.

“You’re capable of rage, I’ll remember that” He said. Durza stood up grabbed
Rachel and evaporated into smoke along with Rachel and his Urgals.

Brom lay there slowly dying. He could barely see from losing too much blood.
His vision faltered and he knew no more.

Chapter 2:

Morzan sat up in bed, knife drawn, teeth bared. It was already morning he had another
one of his strange dreams. They have to be real they seemed to life like he
thought still breathing heavily. Brom Morzan thought who was that child? Durza
would never concern himself with such mortals let alone a mortal like this
Brom. It doesn’t matter his corpse is laying in a pool of blood so he couldn’t
have been much to Durza.

Morzan set his knife down on his bedside table and stood up. He yawned
stretching his arms to the ceiling. This inn had to be the dingiest in Teirm
but it was all he could afford. His life was never the same after Durza had
murdered his parents on their way to Teirm. It must be a hobby of Durza’s he
thought. Me now this boy Brom, he shuddered at the memory of his parent’s death
along with Brom’s.


Morzan stood sword in hand examining the destruction Durza had caused. His
parent’s horses lay in a crumpled pile of hoofs and legs. He heard a cruel
laugh behind him.

“Hello Morzan.” Durza said.
Morzan turned sword swinging. Durza raised his sword and easily blocked the
blow. Durza lazily flicked his wrist and Morzan’s sword flew from his hands
into the grass. Durza slashed his chest causing him to stumble and fall to all

“A little fight in you boy. I like that” he said licking his lips.

“I’m no boy. I’m a man my father told me so” Morzan said proudly standing back

“Oh did he now.” Durza teased. “Well if you’re a man you won’t be needing
them.” he said gesturing at Morzan’s unconscious parents.

Durza opened his hand and they began to glow white. Morzan stood there
horrified. The magic was slowly peeling the flesh off their skins. Durza's
palms dimmed to reveal two white skeletons lying in the middle of the road.
Morzan was shocked.

“I’d love to stay and play, but unfortunately I have some other people to
attend to.”Durza said and evaporated into black smoke. Morzan sunk to his knees
defeated and began to cry.

____________________-----end Flashback----_________________

He turned and faced the cracked mirror. The large red gash along his chest had
started to fester and was itchy. If I don’t find a decent healer it won’t
matter that escaped Durza with my life. He heard a knock at the door.

“Go away I’m in no mood to talk” he growled. Morzan was clearly a cold hearted

“But sir” Felix the bellhop pleaded. “The Riders have come with Eggs looking
for new recruits”

He stopped, power, the thought interested him. I would like that very much, and
if I get strong enough revenge too. Durza will finally pay for his crimes
against my family.

“Sir are you listening, hello sir?” he interrupted.

“I will be out in a moment” he snapped.

“Um ok right there in the town somewhere.” Felix stuttered.

“Felix open the door.” Morzan ordered. Felix opened the door slowly. He was
clearly very afraid of Morzan.

“Here” Morzan said reaching onto his dresser. Felix flinched.

“Calm down you coward. Here I don’t forget favors” he said tossing 3 coppers to
Felix. Felix couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Thank you” he said he scrambled out of the room.

Spineless, but never the less useful he thought. Now id better make myself
presentable for the dragon riders he thought reaching into his bag. I guess
I’ll have to wear my best tunic for these corrupt fools. He pulled out a
scarlet tunic embroidered with a white design of a scorpion on the upper right
chest. It belonged to his father. He flung it over his head the soft cloth
tinkling his calloused skin. After so many years this tunic is still as soft as
the day fathers gave it to me he thought.

He rubbed the wrinkles out of heirloom and strolled over to his bed side. He
picked up his knife. This thing saved my butt more than once he reflected
chuckling to himself. Well best be off he thought dropping the knife in his

As he left his room something caught his eye. A small gold key lay at his
boots. Leaning over Morzan picked it up. Hmmm must be Felix’s he considered.
Well whose ever it was its mine now he stated throwing it into his bag. Morzan
continued down the dimly lit hallway keeping his head down.
This inn was named thief’s hideaway and rightfully so. The place was the refuge
of all the scum and villainy in Teirm. As Morzan entered the bar below the inn
he noticed several patrons passed out on the counter drool dripping out of
there opened mouths. Morzan approached the bartender.
"How can I help you boy," the bartender offered sweeping the patrons
off the counter. They hit the ground with a dull thud.

"Yes, I’m looking for the riders where are they," he questioned
stepping over one of the patron's body.

The patron he stepped over groaned “Water.”
Morzan responded by a swift kick in the face.

"Shut up drunkard." He spat. “We are having a conversation.”

"Now was that necessary" the bartender said, but he didn’t seem to

"Yes it was, now the riders." Morzan said impatiently.

"Persistent boy aren't you. Last I heard they were holding the eggs at the
citadel." he said.

"Thanks," Morzan said turning towards the door.

"Hey hold up boy. I wouldn’t try to steal an egg if I were you. Them
riders have ways of catching thief’s." he warned.

"I will if I must," Morzan said under his breath stepping out into
the streets of Teirm. The city street was bare with no sign of life. Hmmm must
be at the citadel he thought and trotted off.


Morzan pushed his way through the crowd of noisy people gathered around a
wooden platform in the center of the citadel. Over the heads of the crowd he
could just make out a tall man around six foot holding two eggs. Morzan
squinted, the eggs in the man’s right hand was a brilliant gold were as the egg
in his left was bloody red.

“Silence” The man shouted over the crowd. The talking died down immediately.
“Thank you. Now you the people of Teirm have gathered today to participate in a
most scared ceremony. This ceremony has been held by the dragon riders of
Alagaesia since the fabled dragon wars ended and Eragon became the father of
our order. Today we invite you to stand before these eggs and see if you are
worthy to join our order” he uttered.

Morzan smiled this man liked to be dramatic he thought. I wonder if he ever
thought about a career in acting.

“Understand that if an egg hatches for you, you must become a rider and fulfill
your duty, helping the people of Alagaesia.” He said reluctantly looking down
at the platform. He shook his head and returned his gaze to the crowd.

“Now if you’ll form a line” He yawned.

The crowd was instantly in chaos. Every last person was pushing and shoving
trying to get a chance to touch one of the eggs. Morzan was pushed kicked
punched, and trampled on. After a few minutes the crowd died down and a neat
line had been formed. Morzan was laying face down on the cobblestone blood
dripping from his lip. They better hope that egg doesn’t hatch for me cause if
it does I’m gonna bash some of these people’s heads he mused to himself. He
stood up shaking the dirt off his tunic. Now I wait he thought.

“Hey kid wake up. Hello kid you ok” The man said shaking Morzan.

“Huh waa...” Morzan said sleepily rubbing the sleep out of his eye. He looked
around it was dark out except for the torches illuminating the citadel. The man
who had woke him had a tired look about himself as if he hadn’t slept in years.
It’s the rider he thought.

“You fell asleep in line” The rider informed him. He helped Morzan to his feet.

“The eggs are they still here. Please I must touch one” Morzan said worried
that he missed his chance.

“Calm down boy. The gold egg is still in my possession.” He said pulling the
egg out of his cloak. The flames danced on the yellow shell making it look more
and more like gold. Morzan grabbed the egg greed in his eyes. As soon as he
touched the egg a presence assaulted his mind. The pain was unbearable. He
dropped the egg and fell to the ground screaming clutching his head. A familiar
voice entered his mind.

“Found an egg did we.” Durza snickered. “I think I’ll be taking that.”

“No you won’t be Durza.” Said another presence.

“Vetren!?” Durza said. For the first time Morzan heard fear in Durza’s voice.

“Still trying to get an egg I see” Vetren said.

“I will you’ll see” Durza said fading from Morzan’s mind. The pain ceased.

“So you met Durza” Vetren said.

“Yeah, he killed my parents.” Morzan spitefuly.

“As he did mine” Vetren said sadly. This man is in his sixties he thought. How
could Durza have killed his parents when Durza only seemed to be in his

“Morzan Durza is a shade.” Vetren said seriously.

“A what,” Morzan said.

“A shade. A Shade is a type of sorcerer or sorceress who has summoned a spirit
or spirits that he or she couldn't control, and consequently became possessed
by it or them in both mind and body, either forced or willingly. Shades are
always evil, and have superhuman abilities. A Shade can only be killed by being
stabbed through the heart. Durza is currently the only shade in Alagaesia but
he is more powerful than most riders.” He stated blandly.

“Did he ever cut you with a red blade” he said sounding worried.

“Yes my chest” he said lifting his tunic, the wound had turned black and was
festering. Fear shone in Vetren’s face.

“How long have you had that” he said slowly.

“Why” Morzan said nonchalantly.

“Well depending on when Durza cut you. You could have a day to live or a week”
he said grabbing his garb. “Come with me” he ordered.

“Where are you taking me” Morzan whinnied, as he was dragged towards the

“If you want to live Id shut up and follow me” Vetren said releasing Morzan.

“Fine Then” he said rubbing his neck. Morzan stood at the brilliant silver gate
of Teirm's inner citadel. The gates are massive he thought. I feel sorry for
whoever thinks they can take Teirm.

“Morzan do you want to die” veteran said he was already thought the gate.

“Huh wa- No” he said catching up to Vetren. The silver gate slammed shut behind
them. Morzan found himself in a stone corridor. The walls were lined with
weapons, all polished and sharp.

“Ah yes the twenty weapons of Teirm” he said as they walked. “They are this
city’s most prized possessions. They were crafted by the best human forgers and
saw the end of king palancer.” He told Morzan.

He eyed the dagger with greed. Vetren is not looking he thought and reached for
the dagger.

“O and I wouldn’t try to steal that” Vetren said without turning around. “If
you intend to live I'd hurry up.”

Stupid old bat he thought. That dagger’s getting rusty on that wall I could’ve
put in it to good use. After about five minutes they reached a staircase.

“Where are we going” he said frustrated.

“To meet a friend” he said calmly. A friend he thought. At the top of the
citadel this man is crazy?
They reached the top before them stood a brilliant silver dragon. Its scales
reflected the torch light almost making it look red.

“Meet Eletis” Vetren said proudly. He walked over and patted her snout.

“A-a-a Dragon” He stuttered.

Vetren laughed for the first time. “Yes and a beautiful one at that” he said
nuzzling her head. Eletis responded with a low purr. After they finished
greeting Eletis turned to Morzan. You coming kid a voice said in his head.

. Chapter
three: Not sure what to mane it yet

Brom awoke in the charred remains of his house. His head lay on a pile of burnt
wood. He felt broken in body and soul. My parents are dead he thought, my
sister captured by that demon, and I’m burned and slowly bleeding to death
feeling his shoulder. He quickly pulled back his hand. It was covered in a
mixture of ash and fresh blood. I’m lucky to be alive he thought and ripped off
part of his tunic. Brom tied the cloth around his shoulder. It’s not perfect
but it will do he thought sitting up. Pain shot through his shoulder. He
cringed it feels as if on I’m on fire he thought. Brom took a moment to take
his surroundings all in, or what remained of them. The town of Kuasta had been
razed to the ground. All that remained was piles of ash and burnt wood. Some of
the trees around the town where still burning, and the only sign of life was
the forest by the ocean. Brom struggled to his feet. He took a step and fell
back down. Ahhh my leg he thought. Brom rolled up his pants and found another
wound there was a large black burn on his leg. He winced and stood back up. He
took two steps and passed out from the pain.


“Durza’s already been here” Delilah said dismounting her dragon into the ashes
of kuasta

“No you think,” Rhodri mused. He dismounted also and began searching the town
for survivors.
Rhodri always finding humor in everything she thought to herself. He wouldn’t
take his own funeral seriously.

“You’re the one who married him” Esterni said entering her riders mind.

“I know but he can be annoying sometimes” Delilah sighed.
Esterni could tell something was troubling her.

“What is it Delilah” Esterni said soothingly.

“Its tha-th-that vision” she said upset.

“Is it...” Esterni said.

“O just let me show you” she was crying now.

A flowing torrent of images splashed into Esterni’s mind. What she saw horrified
her. Dorú Araeba was burning she could hear the dying screams of people and
dragons alike. Fifteen dragons encircled the reminisce of the riders city like
vultures. She could just made out a color of one dragon, saphire blue. The
image began to blur and fade until it was gone. Esterni was speechless.

“You see” she said wiping the tears from her eyes. “We are in danger.”

Esterni spoke up. “Don’t worry it was just a dream.”

“We’ve been partners for twenty-one years. I can tell when you don’t mean
something.” Delilah said.

“Fine I don’t believe it was a dream nor was it the future. I think it’s a
warning” Esterni said tersely.

“I agree” she said sadly “We must get back to work now.” closing off their
connection. They went separate ways. Now to find survivors she said extending
her conscience. She felt nothing except for insects and small rodents living in
the ground below her. Impossible she thought Durza couldn’t have killed them
all it’s not his style.

“You found any one yet” Esterni said reopening the connection

“Hmm No not yet” She extended her conscience farther she brushed across faint
sign of life. She entered its mind it was a young boy maybe 13.

“Found one” she said to Esterni. Sending her an image of his location

“Ok I’ll be there in a moment”

The boy was about 50 yards away lying face down in rubble. Delilah walked over
to him stepping over wood and half burned bodies. She knelt down and rolled his
body over. His hair was brown and messy. His face was cut and burned
everywhere. This kids in worse shape than I thought. She unbuttoned his tunic
frightened what she might find under it. His chest was burned badly. He had a
crude tourniquet wrapped around his left shoulder. She untied it and he hands
were greeted with a stream of blood. Eww disgusting immediately removing her
hands. Regaining her composure she held her hand over the wound.

“Waise Heill” She said letting the magic flow through her. Her hand glowed
indigo. Despite her effort the wound kept on bleeding. She tried once more with
the same result and once more. Nothing, this is Durza’s work she thought
grimly. I’d better heal his other wounds she said ripping off his tunic. She
began healing the major wounds on his body she ignored the small bruises and

“A-a-are you an an angel” a raspy voice said. The voice tickled her pointed
Delilah looked around confused.

“Down Here” the boy managed to say. She looked down relieved.

“You’re ok” she said joyfully. “And No I’m not an angel.” She laughed. “What is
your name?”

“Brom” he wheezed.

“Well Brom your going to be alright, draumr” she said soothingly. Brom’s eyes
drifted closed and began to dream. She healed the rest of his wounds and picked
him up. He’s lighter than most humans she thought to herself.

"Esterni where are you?" she said. She was greeted by an image of a
dead deer, and one word, lunch.

“Now? This boy is barely alive “she said sharply

“So am I. I’m hungry!”

“Fine but hurry he doesn’t have much time” she said throwing him over her
shoulder. She headed back towards the center of the town. Burning down a whole
town she thought to herself, why? Durza is clever he doesn’t do things without
reason. He usually has an intelligent plan she thought remembering his attempt
to steal an egg at a ceremony in Belatona. He would have escaped if not for
Vetren. She grinned; Vetren was the only person Durza seemed to fear.

“I’m Near” Esterni said. Delilah looked up. She almost dropped Brom. Esterni
was fifty feet above them and closing fast. She closed her eyes and braced for
impact but it never came. There was a light thud to the left and laughing
filled her mind.

“Haha you still fall for that even after so many years” Esterni said amused
that she was able to scare an elf.

“Well I recall last year you accidently landed on Rhodri last year on our
anniversary” She said.
“What do you mean accidently” Esterni joked. Delilah just rolled her eyes.

“Of course” she said.

“So who’s the scrawny fellow.” Esterni said lowering herself to the ground so
Delilah could strap Brom to the saddle.

“His names Brom. He thinks I’m an angel.” Second part of Chapter 3

“He’s not the only one,” Esterni laughed turning. S orange dragon landed
alongside Esterni. Rhodri was back and by the look of it he hadn’t found
anyone. His looked as if he had seen a ghost.

“They burned the bodies, ever last one.” he said solemnly. “And on top of that
Istalri found an abandoned Urgal camp in a forest east of here.” He nodded in

“Urgals her so far south impossible,” Delilah said astonished.

“It’s very possible if Durza was helping them.” Rhodri said bleakly.

“But how would they get past are patrols?”

“I have no idea but we must inform the elders
immediately” he said gravely.

“Not all is lost,” Esterni interrupted. “We have saved one person.” She turned
to reveal the boy tied to her back. He was still drooped over the front of the
saddle yet still dreaming.
Rhodri smiled for a brief moment until eyes passed over his tunic.

“Why is he bleeding? Did you not heal him?”

“Of course I healed him," she said a bit hurt. “He has been stabbed with a
cursed blade. I have tried to heal it many times but spells
don’t seem to affect it.” He will die if we don’t get him to Vroengard.”

“Then we leave” Istalri said. Hid raised his massive orange wings and kicked
off the ground.

“Always getting to the point” Esterni said only so Delilah could here.

“Yes he does doesn’t he” she said scalinging up on top of her back.

“Make sure our passenger doesn’t fall.” She kicked off the ground and with one
flap of her gigantic wings they were off. They glidded after Rhodri leaving the
ash of Kuasta behind them.


Brom awoke on grassy plain lying a piece of cloth by a balazing fire. Beside
him was two other clothes, and what appered to be saddlebags.
In the distance he saw snow capped mountains. The sun had almost set and the
faint imprint of the moon showed through the clouds.He was dressed in fresh
clothes and a bowl of fruit lay at his feet along with
neatly folded blanket. I had the strangest dream he thought. I met a goddess
remembering her face.

Her hair was the color of steel and her slanted eyes were lilac. Her nose was
small and very close to her face.

“She was beautiful” he reflected. He sat up and was greated with a familiar
pain in his shoulder. He unbuttoned his tunic and found a new bandage wrapped
tightly around his wound.

“Who has done these kindnesses for me?” He couldn’t help but wonder reaching
for the bowl of fruit. It was cold but its food he thought. I haven’t eaten
in…… well I don’t know how long. In fact I don’t even know where I am” looking
around once again. He finished the last of the cold fruit and sat the bowl back
down in front of the fire. He looked around for hint of who his saviors might
be.His eyes came across a brown lether bag. Brom stood up and walked over to
the bag. He extended his arm towards the bag.

“Hey kid Hands off” A voice behind him order. Turning around Brom was welcomed
by an armored man sitting upon a magnificent orange dragon. His face was
unfamiliar to him.

“Kid your hands still on the bag.”

“Huh oh,” Lifting his hand off the pack but not before spieing a large sapphire
gem inside.”So whats so important about that bag,” Brom asked innconently. The
rider didn’t fall for the act.

“Just hand it over.” Brom oliged his wishes and sat back down. The rider put it
in a pocket on his saddle.

“You aren’t frightened of Istrali?” The rider said rather disappointed.

“No, my uncle was a rider,” he said bored by the small talk.

“O really whats his name I might know him.” The man asked.

“Names have power” Brom said chuckling at the man’s expression. This was a
phrase his father had taught him to say to anyone who asked him his name. He
sighed remembering that his father was no longer with him.

“Aye, that they do.” He said sliding off the side of his dragon. “I see you
made yourself at home,” eyeing the empty bowl of fruit.

“So where were you?” Brom said changing the subject. “And who are you,” Brom

“Gathering fruit and other herbs,” answering Brom’s question. “And I unlike you
will tell you my name. My name is Rhodri.” He twisted around and began
unpacking his saddle bags.

“Oh any luck,” Brom asked making conversation.

“Well yeah,” The rider said insulted. He turned and tossed a bag at Brom. Brom
hadn’t been
expecting this and was barely able to catch it before it hit his shoulder. A
few berries fell out at his boots. Brom cursed Rhodri.

“You have the reactions of a rider boy. Have you ever learned to use a sword?”
Rhodri said impressed with his skills.

“Yes my father’s friend was an excellent sword-fighter. He taught me a few
moves.” Brom grunted dropping the herbs.

“O good here,” he said handing him a sword. ”Letts see how much you remember,”
Rhodri and chuckled and unsheathed his sword.

Chapter 4:
Swords and Tears
well here goes

Brom stood ten feet away from an armed rider. Most humans would be terrified or
just flee, but Brom was no such human. He smiled and executed a few difficult
flourishes with his blade to test its balance. It was a bit heavier than he was
used to but it would do he thought. Brom finished spinning his blade, still
smiling smugly. The rider responded with his own few sword spins and twirls,
but they weren’t nearly as impressive as Brom’s. Brom studied Rhodri.

Rhodri is much stronger and has way more endurance than me. I will need to
be quick and short if I want to win.

“Ready kid?”

Rhodri asked. Brom cracked his knuckles and nodded. They locked eyes for a
split second and Rhodri charged. Brom was surprised at his speed, but not his
first attack. Brom parried the blow towards his shoulder and side stepped
bashing the pommel of the blade off his neck.

“Rhodri surely a rider can do better,”

Brom taunted. Rhodri turned at inhuman speed swinging his sword like a
berserker. Brom retreated a few steps just avoiding the slash near his face.
Brom didn’t have time to launch a counter attack. Rhodri followed up with a
flood of blows in all manner of ways. Brom blocked the first and the second but
the second connected with his wrist.

It didn’t cut me?

He thought confused. Brom quickly parried two more blows and managed a few of
his own. Rhodri easily parried the attacks. He laughed.

“Surely a thirteen-year can do better,”

He said still laughing.

Time to end this.

He kicked Rhodri and fled towards the camp fire. Rhodri followed recovering
from the kick. They encircled the fire like two vultures. Never breaking eye
contact Brom raised his sword. Without warning Brom swung his sword in an
uppercut motion knocking ash and smoke into Rhodri face and pounced over the
fire. Rhodri fell under the weight of Brom and the two rolled for a few
seconds. After they had finally stopped rolling it was Brom who came out on
top. He was sitting on top of Rhodri holding his sword to his neck. They both
were breathing heavily.

“Well played kid.” Rhodri panted.

“You too,” Brom said.

Brom stood up and helped Rhodri to his feet. Rhodri looked over at Istalri.

Beaten by a boy,

Istalri laughed entering his mind.

“O shut up that kid was born with a sword in hand,” Rhodri muttered through
there connection.

Your jealous aren’t you little one,

Istalri considered.

“Well yeah the kids thirteen and he’s already a better sword fighter than me,
plus he is very clever. I’ve never seen so much talent in all my years.”Rhodri
said to Istalri.

Nor have I,

He said in agreement.

There eyes followed the boy as he played with the sword.

His sword work is so fluent. It is as if he is dancing.

Brom stopped and walked over to Istalri and Rhodri.

“Here’s your sword,” Brom said reluctantly handing the sword over. Rhodri took
the sword.

“How was it that the blade didn’t puncture me skin. It came it contact but it
just bounced off,” Brom asked rubbing his wrist. Istalri thought for a moment.

Better be careful how you answer this one Rhodri. It is forbidden for us to
speak of magic to him.

“I know, I know,” he said. He looked down at Brom he was waiting patiently his
eyes gleaming Cobalt in the firelight.

“O that’s a good question. These swords are very valuable. They were crafted by
the best smith in Narda. His methods are still unknown,” Rhodri lied.

“O that’s amazing. He must be very skilled,” Brom said believing the lie. “He
must be a legend among sword makers,” Brom said. Guilt wrenched at Rhodri

I don’t like lying.

It was necessary, Istalri said.

“Yes but it was wrong.” He argued.

If you feel so guilty just give him the sword. He can use it better than you
ever could,

Istalri suggested.

“That’s an excellent idea thank you” he said. He held the hilt of the sword to

“I want you to have this,” Rhodri said. Brom grasped the hilt not believing his

“It’s mine, to keep?” Brom said confused.

“Yes,” Rhodri said smiling. For a moment Brom was filled with happiness. He
forgot about his parents his sister and, Durza. His worries and fears drifted
away. I got a sword from a rider, a rider.

“Father I got a sword a real sword!” Brom shouted turning. He realized his
father wasn’t there. All the terrible memories came flooding back, the look on
their face before Durza killed them, the pain the terrible pain. Brom slumped
and looked at his boots.

I would give anything to get them back.

A comforting hand gripped his shoulder. Brom turned and hugged Rhodri, tears
streaming from his face.

“It’s ok Brom,” Rhodri said saying Brom’s name for the first time. “Brom look
at me,” he said. Brom slowly looked up fresh hot tears fell from Brom’s eyes.

“What?” he sniffed.

“Whatever it takes, whatever the risks I promise you I will revenge your
parents or die trying.”

it takes, whatever the risks I promise you I will revenge your parents or die
trying,” he promised.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Hey don’t mention it kid,” Rhodri said drying Brom’s tears with his tunic.
“You better get some rest. That wound on your shoulder is worse than you
think.”Rhodri informed him.

“Thank you again, I will,” Brom mumbled to Rhodri. Brom sniffed once more and
walked back towards the cloth he had awoken on.

He’s a good kid Rhodri

Istalri admitted watching Brom sleep.

Yes, he is

Rhodri agreed.

We should go check on Delilah and Esterni.

Rhodri said. Istalri nodded and crouched down so that Rhodri may ride. He
clambered up Istalri.

Do you think he will be ok alone? Rhodri asked, concerned.

You didn’t seem to care earlier today, Istarli observed.

Yes, but it was daytime the, Rhodri claimed.

True, Istalri acknowledged. You’d better protect the camp.

Rhodri nodded, he raised his hand and uttered something under his breath. His
palm glowed orange briefly and dimmed.

It is done, let’s go, brother of my heart.

Chapter 5:
Pain of the Brave

Morzan had been riding with Vetren on Eletis for a day now and in that short
time he had learned quite a bit. The brutish dragons his parents had told him
about where not savage blood thirsty beasts but wise and intelligent creatures.
They spoke through their minds rather than through their tongues like man.

If anything they are smarter than humans, he thought.

Morzan it’s your turn, Eletis informed Morzan.

O sorry lost in thought, he said. He was playing a game of riddles with
Vetren and Eletis; so far he was ahead by one.

“Morzan do you got a riddle? If not you lose a point,” Vetren reminded him.
Morzan racked his brain. He searched his brain for a riddle. He found one.
Ah my favorite he thought.

“Ok I got one.” He announced. “Food can help me survive, but water will kill
me. What am I?” he asked smiling smugly. Morzan could sense confusion in both
of their minds but his mind was elsewhere.

Where tis hat blasted red egg he thought frustrated. Eletis interrupted
his thoughts.

Is it Fire, Eletis asked uncertain. Morzan’s smug face disappeared.

Morzan reluctantly answered, Yes that is correct.

Ha-ha one point for me, Eletis said happily.

“Yes my turn,” Vetren said. “You will never guess this one. Well here goes. I
soar without wings, I see without eyes. I've traveled the universe. I've
conquered the world, yet I've never been anywhere but home. Who am I?”

Morzan thought for a moment.

Hmmm conquered the world impossible, he thought. There is a simple
answer to this question.

“Repeat it” Morzan ordered.
“I got you on this one Zan admit it,” he teased.
“Just repeat the question,” Morzan snapped. “And don’t call me Zan.”

Who does this child think he is? Vetren asked angrily to Eletis all
playfulness in his voice gone.

Calm yourself Vetren he is just arrogant. Life will teach him a lesson, it
always does with these sorts of people
, she said wisely.

You’re right as usual.

“Ok I shall repeat it once more.” Vetren said ignoring Morzan’s disrespect. “I
soar without wings, I see without eyes. I've traveled the universe. I've
conquered the world, yet I've never been anywhere but home. Who am I?”

Hearing the riddle just frustrated Morzan more.

Traveled the universe?

"This riddle is impossible," he stated angrily.

"Is it?" Vetren asked, smiling. Morzan's brow creased.

What could it be?

It came to him all of a sudden, Imagination. How could I've been so stupid,
he contemplated? O well I win as usual.

“You are imagination,” Morzan declared confidently.

Yes you win, Eletis said reluctantly.

“Yes I always do,” He mumbled underneath his breath, barely audible.

“Well it seems we are close to Illirea we land in the hour,” Vetren said.

Good, I’m sick of flying.

The cloudy scene faded away into darkness leaving an old cracked mirror held
firmly in white clammy hands. In the mirror was a face few forget. Reflecting
in the mirror was a pale faced man with bloody red eyes and long flowing
crimson hair. Beneath his eye was a large cut. Durza threw the mirror at the
cave wall. This time it did not crack but shatter into thousands of pieces.

The cave was dimly lit by small floating lanterns in the shapes of skulls in
the center of the cave stood an iron desk covered with maps, spell books, and
all types of dark instruments.
Curse that Vetren, curse all the riders he thought angrily. There always
protecting egg bearers. Well I did manage to capture one, if only he would

Durza waved his hand over the stone floor. The rock expanded revealing a small
stair case. Durza stepped down beneath and entered a large corridor. Along the
walls were prison cells filled with senators, ambassadors, and other political
figures. Durza ignored the screams and hands clawing out of the cells begging
for food.

He reached the end of the hallway and entered another small room. In the center
of the room stood a rugged teenager. The teenager was tied to a wooden post
with barbed chains. His shirtless chest was covered in burns and bruises.

“Back again?” The teenager spat at Durza.

“Yes, Today I will break you Zach.” Durza told him.

“I’d like to see you try,” Zach grunted.

“Trust I will try but today I’m feeling a little nice. I will give you another
chance. Who gave you the egg before you felt the need to send it to Vroengard?”
Durza seethed.

“Yes you didn’t seem to like that,” Zach laughed remembering the look on
Durza’s face.

“Answer me fool,” Durza fumed.

“Never,” Zach said simply.

“Big mistake,” Durza said. He drew his sword and stabbed Zach. Zach didn’t even
flinch. Durza had cast spells to protect Zach from harm but he would still feel
pain, so he wasn’t worried.

I admire his bravery, but it is useless my new torture shall surely break

“Sick of the usual? "Well about something new today,” Durza suggested
pulling a large bottle out of hid cloak. “You know this?”Durza asked.

“Ol, Ol, let me guess it’s your birthday, and you decided to share a toast with
me,” Zach said grinning.

“No it is seither oil.” Durza stated. “I think you’ll just simply adore the
taste.” The smile faded off Zach’s face.

“You don’t intend to…” Zach drifted off thinking of idea.

“O yes, I plan on to do just that,” Durza laughed. His laughter sounded like an
animal’s dying screams. “Open up Zach let’s see those beautiful teeth of
yours,” Durza grinned uncorking the bottle.
Zach clenched his jaw tight sealing anyway way for that cursed liquid to drip
down his throat.

“What’s this Zach no witty response. Before I couldn’t get you to shut up and
now you are as silent as a corpse. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re
scared.” Durza teased. “No matter.”

Durza said something in a language Zach didn’t understand. After Durza had
finished he smiled.
“Thank you for listening so well,” Durza said. Zach noticed that his mouth was
wide open.

“No!” Zach managed to say,

“Yes,” Durza smiled, and poured the liquid down his throat

chap 5:
Pain of the Brave

The liquid was like molten lava. Zach coughed and choked on his own skin
falling off from his gums. As Durza poured more seither oil Zach began to
convulse uncontrollably. He felt a piercing sensation in his stomach.

No, I’ll die. It will vaporize my insides.

Despite his worries the pain only increased as Durza emptied the vile down his
throat. He felt sharp stabs of fire near his heart.

If I ever get out of here alive I swear I’ll kill him.

Durza took a step back to admire his handiwork. Zach was twitching violently
desperately trying to expel the oil from his body.

“Damn you Durza,” Zach spluttered. A mixture of blood and skin where now
dripping from his open mouth.

“Now I will ask you again. Who gave you the egg?” Durza sneered at the
disgusting sight.

“No,” Zach said curtly. Durza frowned at the answer.

“So be it,” Durza said enraged. He pulled out another bottle of oil. “I added
my own ingredients to this one,” he smiled uncorking the glass.

Zach closed his eyes preparing for more pain. It came and much harder and
swifter this time. Durza combined the new pain with a full out mental assault.
Visions of his family and friends flashed through his mind giving him the
strength to withhold against Durza’s will. He focused on a drop of blood on the
ground empting his mind of everything else like he was trained so many years

Durza battered against his barriers only to be stopped by an invulnerable wall.
This fool doesn’t give up does he, Durza thought impatiently. Well it’s clear I
must devise more painful tortures. Durza retreated from the assault on Durza’s
mind and finished off the bottle of seither oil. He wiped his mouth off.

“It seems you live another day Zach,” Durza announced. He muttered a spell and
the barbed chains disintegrated. Zach fell to the ground wrists leaving small
pools of blood on the floor.

“Get up!” Durza ordered. Zach obeyed standing he rubbed his wrists. Durza
didn’t wait for Zach to steady himself. He grabbed him by his hair and dragged
him out of the room.

“Back to your cell,” Durza growled pushing him forward into the corridor. Zach
tripped and stumbled down the hallway. The effects of the seither oil were
still wearing off. Durza slid open the door and shoved him in.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he said and slammed the cell door closed.

Zach waited till Durza’s footsteps faded away. Zach ran over to a cracked stone
on the floor. He lifted it up to reveal a silver necklace.

The only thing Durza hasn’t managed to take from me, he thought holding
it close to his chest. I will be with you soon my love.

stood fully dressed in his black armor. On his side was a wicked white sword
stretching to the floor. In the center and the hilt were large diamonds cut
perfectly by magic. They gleamed in the dawn light as Galbatorix scrambled
around his quarters.

You are going to be late Galb, a familiar voice sad touching his mind.

Not today Aramus, Galbatorix stated as he quickly fixed his hair.

That’s what you said the last time, Aramus argued.

Well don’t worry I will be there I wouldn’t miss my own ceremony,
Galbatorix laughed.

No I suppose not, Aramus said. Well you are not the only one getting
promoted you know
. I got to get ready too, she said and ended the

Galbatorix chuckled, as he walked towards his bed. Another thing touched his

Hello, brother of my heart. It was Jarnunvosk his dragon.

Hey Jarnunvosk, any news on Vetren, Galbatorix asked curiously.

No not yet last I heard he was heading back from Teirm.

He wouldn’t miss his own student being promoted, Galbatorix reasoned. Would

No he will be here, he is always on time, Jarnunvosk reminded him. “And
he always has a good reason anyway so don’t pout,”
he said sternly sensing
Galbatorix’s annoyance.

“Yeah I guess you’re right,” he muttered.

“Yes now hurry up. Vetren will be here before you. I will meet you in the
court yard,”
Jarnunvosk growled and closed the link.


Galbatorix eyed the white robe folded neatly on his bed. It had complex symbols
written all over the back, some in the ancient language some in others he had
never heard of.

Well I guess I will have to wear this once more, he thought reluctantly
slipping the robe on. A familiar stench of old parchment and ink filled his
nostrils. He coughed choking on the smell.

Do the riders ever wash these old things, he thought feeling the robe
for dirt. He found none.
Ok I guess they do clean these. Well I’d better leave anyways.

He walked over to his wooden door and pulled the black
handle. The morning sun blinded him. He blinked a few times adjusting to the
light. When he finally was able to see he was speechless. He stood on a crudely
built platform in an ancient tree. The tree itself was at least two hundred
feet tall. In The distance he could make out the fortress of Doru Araeba past
Graphel forest. In was only a mile away but it seemed like it was 20 leagues
away from the tree.

Galbatorix took a caution step towards the edge and looked down.

Why am I here, he thought angrily. Is this a joke or something?
He turned and grabbed for the door. His hand grabbed touched nothing except for
air. His room was gone. In fact there seemed to be any evidence it was ever
there as he examined the canopy.

Brother he yelled to his dragon. Silence was his only reply.
That’s strange, well whatever this is it must very powerful to place such a ward
on my dragon without our knowing. I should be cautious.

He searched for a way down. His eyes crossed a nearby vine hanging only a few
feet away from the platform.

Well here goes nothing.

He leapt forward eyes wide open and grabbed the vine. He held on tightly but
gravity had other ideas. The vine snapped under his weight.


Galbatorix fell faster than a meteor. He was too stunned with fear to do
anything, after a few seconds he realized he would die if he didn’t think fast.
Adrenaline kicked in. Galbatorix ripped his uniform off and held it above him
slowing his fall a little.

I’m too heavy. At this rate I will never be able to stop my fall, he

He tore his sword from its sheath and let it go. He felt himself slow up. The
ground approached slowly similar to death he thought.

Letta he whispered as his last resort.

,and closed
his eyes. The spell saped his strength at an alarming rate. His body began to
slow its decent until it came to a complete stop several inches off the forest
floor. Near death Galbatorix released the spell. He instantly felt to toll of
his actions, his vision faded and his muscles tightened. He managed to stay

Magic, what would I do without you, he though gratefully.

You don’t know how true that is an alien conscious said pricking his minds
barriers. Without magic the riders would cease to exist as well as there Elvin

Galbatorix sat up still feeling the after math of his spell. He looked around
curiously for the being who was talking to him. Somehow he wasn’t surprised to
see a werecat perched on a boulder next to him lickings its paws.

You did better than most, the werecat said taking on a more feminine voice.

You mean to say...

Yes it was a final test and you passed although I can’t say I’m impressed I
expected more from someone with your destiny, she said. Such a terrible
betrayal and yet a noble sacrifice is made, the cat said sadly.
You know I was there when it was made.

When what was made, Galbatorix asked slightly confused.

Magic, I watched as the Grey folk constructed the language and contained the
magic’s essences in a primitive expression of sound so that in the future we
make live and prosper, she told him.

There were a million questions Galbatorix wanted to ask but he knew better than
to interrogate a werecat.

What must I do now to finish my training, he asked simply. His face
showed that he was clearly disturbed at what the cat had said.

Simply navigate your way to Vroengard, you will find no more tests or
trails. Farewell Galbatorix we shall meet once more.

Zach awoke
to the hard cobbled stone floor of his cell. His beaten body lay slumped
against the wall. The expensive clothes he had once worn were little more than
rags now. On his face were numerous scars and bruises each one more serious
than the next. He opened his mouth and yawned. The dried blood cracked on his
lips stinging his mouth more than usual.

Damn you Durza, he muttered struggling to his feet. Zach limped over his
cell bars.

“Rav……….. you…….t…t….here,” Zach managed to whisper. He coughed violently
spewing dried blood onto the cold floor. He waited patiently for a few seconds
before asking again.“R..a………v?”

“Yes boy I’m here,” Rav said. An old man crawled up to the cell across from
him. The man was rather tall with large sad eyes and a thin mouth. Rav had no
hair just a dirty cloth over his head.

“Ho..w..can..I…escape..,” Zach spluttered. Rav sighed and cut him off.

“Zach one moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of
impatience may ruin a whole life.” Rav said staring at the ceiling.

Whats that supposed to mean he thought.

“I ……n’t unde…rs…tand,” Zach murmured, but before Rav could respond the
familiar sound of Durza’s footsteps filled the dungeon. Zach didn’t even try to
resist he waited for the rattle of keys and the creaking of the prison door. It
came but not for him. Durza strode past him and unlocked the door of Rav his
black coat following behind like a ghost.

“Rav your beginning to outlive your usefulness,” Durza said picking him up by
his neck. “If you don’t know any more information about your precious dragon
rider order than I’m sure I can make use that soul of yours,” Durza smiled
licking his lips.

“Anything worth knowing can be taught,” Rav said smiling. Zach smiled at his
He is wiser than most he thought

“Silence, enough riddles. You have ten minutes to think it over,” Durza said
angrily. A muffled cough of a laugh filled the dungeon.

“Y..ou really thin.k.. y..our power…ful, hide from …
in this hole torturing t……een… …old men. ….I thought a… s…ha..d.e
of you..r…ss w…ou…ld a..t t…hreaten the riders
but… more tha..n. .di…rt.. stuc..k u…nde.r
…t…he.. .talo..ns of th…ere d..ragons,” spat with disgust into Durza’s face.

“O I almost forgot about you. Ha Im surprised I actually was able the
comprehend that childish insult of yours, but I must admit it was well
constructed, excellent sentence structure keep up the rudeness it very
entertaining. O and before I go you wouldn’t mind cleaning of that blood you
got all over my floor,” Durza said unphased by the insult. With that Durza
tossed Rav back in his cell and left.


He scrubbed vigorously as a brown dye floated off Brom's Palm, then stopped, his mouth agape with amazement. There on Brom's Palm was the gedwey ignasia.

"You're a Rider?" he asked incredulously.
A painful smile flickered on Brom's face. "Once upon a time that was true ... but no more."

Olympian Demigod
Olympian Demigod

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Lukes Fanfic Empty Re: Lukes Fanfic

Post by Pendragon on Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:23 am

Luke, I am blown away!!! Your Eragon prequel is beyond brilliant!! Try to use more descriptive words, though. Other than that, it was SPECTACULAR!!! Listen, hope I'm not being presumptious, but I'm an A+ English student(and I write my own fictions), and if you ever want an editor, it would be an honor, and I am standing by. "Watch out for ferrets!" -Angela

Last edited by Pendragon on Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:38 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : edit)
Olympian Demigod
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Post by Luke on Sat Feb 20, 2010 2:32 am

Pendragon wrote:Luke, I am blown away!!! Your Eragon prequel is beyond brilliant!! Try to use more descriptive words, though. Other than that, it was SPECTACULAR!!! Listen, hope I'm not being presumptious, but I'm an A+ English student(and I write my own fictions), and if you ever want an editor, it would be an honor, and I am standing by. "Watch out for ferrets!" -Angela

Thank you I know its a bit primative. Just wondering what english and grade your in cause I love writting and Im not sure if I will take AP English. Thanks again ha your the only one who bothered to read it


He scrubbed vigorously as a brown dye floated off Brom's Palm, then stopped, his mouth agape with amazement. There on Brom's Palm was the gedwey ignasia.

"You're a Rider?" he asked incredulously.
A painful smile flickered on Brom's face. "Once upon a time that was true ... but no more."

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Post by Pendragon on Sat Feb 20, 2010 4:18 am

It's definitely worth the read, Luke! I mean, everyone else is missing out on something fantastic, in my opinion. I'm in 9th grade, taking honors English, and I've always been one of the best in my class. I totally get wanting to write narratives like yours. I would've put some of my work on the forum, but it's so incoherent, it's not even funny. Also, I thought your dragon names "Esterni" and "Istalri" were great, coming straight from the Ancient Language and all. Anyway, tell me if you're interested. "Atra esterni ono thelduin".
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Post by Luke on Sun Feb 21, 2010 7:54 pm

First part of the next chapter.

Brom woke feeling strangely calm; his chat with Rhodri had calmed him considerably. He looked up. The once blazing fire was little more than hot embers now. Rhodri was fast asleep, his head resting on Esterni’s massive tail. Large clouds of smoke rose from his scaly nostrils. An unfamiliar dragon lay nuzzled up against Istalri, its beautiful violet scales almost mirroring the sun. Although it was smaller than the muscular Itsalri it did little to hinder its beauty. As Brom scanned the new dragons back he was surprised to see that a beautiful elf sat slumped it its saddle. He took a step closer and recognized her.

It’s that woman! The one who saved me, he thought

Suddenly he became very aware of how dirty he looked. Ash covered most of his body and the new clothes Rhodri had given him were covered in dried sweat and dirt from there skirmish from the previous night.

Well no use standing here I better find a stream.

Brom tip-toed across the camp careful not to wake anyone. He gazed across the large grassy plain looking for any hint of water. His eyes came across a large patch of vegetation about a mile away from their camp.

Well better get going, he reminded himself.

The journey took around a half an hour. Brom encountered very few animals and the ones he did bothered little with him. As he grew closer he became aware that the vegetation was in fact part of a large forest.

One much larger and ancient then mine, he thought

Brom hacked his way through the underbrush, careful not to damage his shoulder any further. Finally after what seemed like a lifetime Brom reached a large stream. Brom collapsed to his knees in exhaustion, and began splashing his face with water. The cool liquid felt like a cool breeze on his burnt skin. Brom drank until the dry taste in his mouth had evaporated. After quenching his thirst Brom undressed and soaked his garments in the stream until all the ash and muck had washed away. Satisfied with his handiwork he hung his clothes on a nearby branch to dry. Brom did the same with his bandages

Brom waded into the stream letting the water wash away his grimy skin. The tiny stones on the riverbed stuck in-between his toes, there texture smooth, and glossy. Brom trudged through the current and found a comfortable rock sit on. The water came up to his shoulders. Brom shivered.

I hadn’t expecting in to be this cold. It’s refreshing though but cold.

A sharp familiar pain shot through his shoulder. Brom cursed and looked down reluctantly. He was shocked to see a red haze of blood floating around his shoulder.


He scrubbed vigorously as a brown dye floated off Brom's Palm, then stopped, his mouth agape with amazement. There on Brom's Palm was the gedwey ignasia.

"You're a Rider?" he asked incredulously.
A painful smile flickered on Brom's face. "Once upon a time that was true ... but no more."

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Post by Pendragon on Mon Feb 22, 2010 2:19 am

Great continuation, Luke. I can't wait to see your story when it's complete.
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Post by smoothmoves97 on Fri Aug 13, 2010 5:01 pm

yeah it's really cool!
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