Funny sayings and quotes

First topic message reminder :

Everyone post their random saying, quote, or weird question here!
I'll start:

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

She's more nervous than a long-tailed dog in a room full of rocking chairs.

Here's an example of a weird hypothetical question:

If Wal-Mart lowers its prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?

All weird thoughts are welcome!!

i don't have any funny saying to put....

(spoiler alert. If you havent read TRP , don't read.)

(Carter) "What goddess would want Sadie, except the goddes of chewing gum."

(Carter) "Somebody get a can opener, i got a god stuck in my head!"

Sadie- "What about our mother?"
Bast- "I shouldn't have said that."
Sadie- "Telll us, Cat!"

I laugh to all these quotes, but mostly the last one.



This is another quote.

(sadie) "He's horrible!" i growled. "Self-important, Sarcastic, incredibly hot, insufferable."

those are funny!

I'm used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure...
I know it looks like I'm in denial, but I'm not.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

There's a fine line between courage and arrogance and an even finer one between arrogance and stupidity.

When a girl asks you out, why, WHY don't you ask her if her dad's in the Navy?

those are so funny!

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

smoothmoves97 wrote:Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

lol my friend Sara and i used to say that all the time in math class lol


there is no need to right a wrong, just mark it FAIL and move along (idk if i already put that on here...im not sure)

"If you don't like the path you're driving on, pave another one."

asa100 wrote:You know love my dad posidon at least he didn't try to drown me to death .......... for the last two days

lol!
* I'M IN SHAPE!! round is shape

*Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.-- Mark Twain
*If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.-- Albert Einstein

haha look at my new avatar: its pretty funny

"any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves" -Albert Einstein (no lie, he said it)

DiaClaireNoel wrote:"any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves" -Albert Einstein (no lie, he said it)

I finally got my life together but I forgot where I put it!

"Why would u make a shrimp smoothie?"
"I was hungry AND thirsty!"

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Having a smoking section in a restaurang is kind of like having a peeing section in a pool.
Sometimes people need what only friends can provide - absence.
If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.
Anywhere is walking distance, it just depends on how much time you have.
Close only counts in golf... and hand grenades.
I can levitate birds but nobody seems impressed by my ability.
It is better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you are stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

why do they always make the ladies room a farther walk then the men's room?

Why do grownups always tell you to "not say another word" and then ask you if you understand?

Abraham Lincoln was once accused of being two-faced. He replied, 'If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?'

If at first you don't succeed, call it Version 1.0
The only true wisdom is knowing that you're not wise.
If you're smart enough to know you're dumb, you're not dumb.

Two penguins got married a few days ago in some zoo in san fran, I wonder what Carrie Prejean has to say about them...

"I like my money where I can see it.... hanging in my closet." Carrie - blank and the city.

I saw this one on a plaque in a gift shop--
"When I married Mr. Right, I didn't know his first name was Always."
Also, "Fortunately, my memory is excellent, but I forget why."
"Diplomacy is the art of telling someone to go to heck, and having them thank you for the directions."

Being lazzy is doing nothing all day and then saying wow i need to relax.