Funny sayings and quotes

First topic message reminder :

Everyone post their random saying, quote, or weird question here!
I'll start:

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

She's more nervous than a long-tailed dog in a room full of rocking chairs.

Here's an example of a weird hypothetical question:

If Wal-Mart lowers its prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?

All weird thoughts are welcome!!

The most dangerous activity in the world is to try to cross a chasm in two jumps.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

an optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State building and at the 50th floor says "so far so good"

a day without sunshine is like...well...its like night

Everyone is gifted...some open the package sooner

Before you critisize somebody, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile away from them, and you'll have their shoes.

There are 3 kinds of people...those that can count, and those that can't.

Borrow money from pessimists...cuz they don't expect it back

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel...just hope it's not a train

did you know that dolphins are so smart that within weeks of being in captivity they can train humans to stand at the side of their pools and throw them fish

If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress?

Duct tape is like the force...it has a dark side and a light side, and it holds the universe together

'The only difference between me and a mad man, is that I'm not mad.' Salivador Dali

'Cats look down at you; dogs look up at you; pigs will look you in the eyes and treat you as equals.'

a synonym is a word you use when you cant think of how to spell the first one that you thought of.

If 'poli' means many, and 'tics' means bloodsucking creatures, than what does politics mean?

smoothmoves97 wrote:If 'poli' means many, and 'tics' means bloodsucking creatures, than what does politics mean?

many bloodsucking creatures? lol i saw that one too, that's funny one that i said was kinda like that- if con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress? lol


imagine how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges....

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were. -unknown

Thanks =)

smoothmoves97 wrote:Thanks =)

YW :)

Even if you're on the right track if you sit down you'll still get run over.

Never let a computer know you're in a hurry. It will immediately slow down just to annoy you.

You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same.

'You are unique, just like everyone in the world.'

'A computer is like an air-conditioning system, if you open windows it breaks down.'

penguinsoldier wrote:'You are unique, just like everyone in the world.'

'A computer is like an air-conditioning system, if you open windows it breaks down.'

at that last one cause its true!!!!!!! -ps, i have windows lol-

The real trouble with life is that there's no background music.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid sometimes, but some abuse the privilege.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...

Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has obviously never tried taking candy from a baby.

Which came first the phoenix or the flame?

You can't be old and wise if you are not first young and crazy.

Life is a journey.

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Artemisrocks wrote:Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

haha, funny

Being dyslexic has drawbacks. I once went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?

Here is my quote:

Notice: If you notice this notice, you will not notice this notice is not worth noticing

In Mexico an air conditioner is called a Politician, cuz it makes a lot of noise but it doesn't work very well

These are all awesome!!! But we're repeating lots of quotes/sayings lots of times. Before you post you might want to read the other posts before posting. Just saying, cuz it's kind of (but not that much) getting annoying reading the same thing over and over.

"Thank God men cannot fly, and lay wast the sky as well as the earth." -Henry David Thoreau (Found it in the front of Fang by James Patterson.)