Funny sayings and quotes
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Posidonsdaughter
TheAravis
percyjackson101
penguinsoldier
DiaClaireNoel
marcos522
NataliaMelodyLevi2
gods_love_me
tinkerirock
The_Megal
PJO-geek
TheSilverHunter
Artemisrocks
percabethsprincess
riczhang
smoothmoves97
20 posters
MortalNet's Forum :: Other :: Whatever
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Funny sayings and quotes
by smoothmoves97 Tue May 25, 2010 10:40 pm
First topic message reminder :
Everyone post their random saying, quote, or weird question here!
I'll start:
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
She's more nervous than a long-tailed dog in a room full of rocking chairs.
Here's an example of a weird hypothetical question:
If Wal-Mart lowers its prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?
All weird thoughts are welcome!!
Everyone post their random saying, quote, or weird question here!
I'll start:
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
She's more nervous than a long-tailed dog in a room full of rocking chairs.
Here's an example of a weird hypothetical question:
If Wal-Mart lowers its prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?
All weird thoughts are welcome!!
smoothmoves97- Big Three Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Artemis
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Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by The_Megal Sun Jun 20, 2010 5:52 am
"Judge me by my size do you?" - Master Yoda
The_Megal- Mortal
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Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by smoothmoves97 Sun Jun 20, 2010 1:39 pm
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up and doesn't stop until you get into the office.
-Robert Frost
The person who said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast and the mime next door went nuts!
Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening" and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Why do they say the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon?
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
If the #2 pencil is so popular, then why is it still #2?
Is "cute as a button" supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If 3/4 of the world is ocean, than why do we call it Earth?
-Robert Frost
The person who said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast and the mime next door went nuts!
Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening" and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Why do they say the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon?
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
If the #2 pencil is so popular, then why is it still #2?
Is "cute as a button" supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If 3/4 of the world is ocean, than why do we call it Earth?
smoothmoves97- Big Three Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Artemis
Number of posts : 2233
Age : 23
Location : Somewhere over the rainbow (the skies are not blue at this moment in time)
Humor : If you see a turtle without its shell, is it homeless or naked?
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Registration date : 2010-05-03
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by tinkerirock Sun Jun 20, 2010 2:50 pm
If you don't like the pathh you're going on, pave another one.
tinkerirock- Big Three Demigod
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Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by gods_love_me Sun Jun 20, 2010 3:18 pm
Only in America:
-do banks leave vault doors open but then chain their pens to the counters
-do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while heathy people can buy cigarrettes at the front
Ever wonder:
-Why the sun lightens our hair but darkens our skin?
-Why can't women put mascara on with their mouth closed?
-Why is lemon juice made with artificial,while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
-Why is the man who invests in all your money called a broker?
-Why is the time of day with the least traffic called rush hour?
-Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
These ones are just funny I think......
-If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
I like this one-If flying is so safe why do they call the airport the terminal?
-do banks leave vault doors open but then chain their pens to the counters
-do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while heathy people can buy cigarrettes at the front
Ever wonder:
-Why the sun lightens our hair but darkens our skin?
-Why can't women put mascara on with their mouth closed?
-Why is lemon juice made with artificial,while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
-Why is the man who invests in all your money called a broker?
-Why is the time of day with the least traffic called rush hour?
-Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
These ones are just funny I think......
-If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
I like this one-If flying is so safe why do they call the airport the terminal?
gods_love_me- Undetermined Demigod
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Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by Artemisrocks Mon Jun 21, 2010 3:15 pm
those are funny. all of them were in a e-mail i got.
Artemisrocks- Olympian Demigod
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Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by percabethsprincess Mon Jun 21, 2010 4:15 pm
That's all I have for now. Love smoothmoves97 and percabethprincess' funny sayings and quotes! Hilarious!!!
Thanks
why is it legal for men to design high healed shoes? what u get in the end is alot of blisters and a few hours of very uncomfertable walking. -i find that funny cause it so ture! lol.-
percabethsprincess- Big Three Demigod
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Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by NataliaMelodyLevi2 Mon Jun 21, 2010 4:18 pm
Pick Up Lines
-Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
-Was that an earthquake or did I just rock your world?
-I dont have a library card...but can I check you out?
-You better know CPR cuz you just took my breath away.
Just Random stuff...
-Why doesnt glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
-When I want your opinon I will remove the duct tape
-Someday your prince charming will come...mine just took a wrong turn and is too subborn to ask for directions
-Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
-Was that an earthquake or did I just rock your world?
-I dont have a library card...but can I check you out?
-You better know CPR cuz you just took my breath away.
Just Random stuff...
-Why doesnt glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
-When I want your opinon I will remove the duct tape
-Someday your prince charming will come...mine just took a wrong turn and is too subborn to ask for directions
NataliaMelodyLevi2- Undetermined Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Zeus
Number of posts : 118
Location : Where ever you want me to be <3
Humor : Wind....one word. That's all. Wind
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Registration date : 2010-03-02
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by marcos522 Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:24 pm
I don't think this is funny, but i hope you like it. This is a play.
Curtains go down, curtains go up. Yo see a man with his back on you. Curtains go down, curtains go up. You see a man in tights with his back on you.
Curtains go down, curtains go up. What's the name of the play?
"Backman"
Curtains go down, curtains go up. Yo see a man with his back on you. Curtains go down, curtains go up. You see a man in tights with his back on you.
Curtains go down, curtains go up. What's the name of the play?
"Backman" 
marcos522- Mortal
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Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by smoothmoves97 Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:26 pm
Haha. I actually thought that was funny. 
smoothmoves97- Big Three Demigod
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Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by DiaClaireNoel Mon Jun 21, 2010 8:53 pm
there's no need to right a wrong, just mark it 'fail' and move along
when nothing goes right.....go left
never go to bed angry.....stay awake and plot your revenge
when nothing goes right.....go left
never go to bed angry.....stay awake and plot your revenge
DiaClaireNoel- Olympian Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Athena
Number of posts : 642
Location : locked in a basement
Humor : "Finnick?" I say, "Maybe some pants?" He looks down at his legs as if noticing his outfit for the first time. Then he whips off his hospital gown leaving him in just his underwear. "Why? Do you find this"- he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose -"distracting?"
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2010-02-21
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by DiaClaireNoel Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:01 pm
i also know some good pick-up lines...
i think i'm dying...cuz i just saw a little piece of heaven
"you dropped something" "what?" "my jaw"
do you have a bandaid? cuz i just scraped my knee when i fell for you
its not my fault i fell in love, you're the one that tripped me
you must be a magician, cuz every time i look at you everyone else dissapears
(and there are lots more pick up lines but some of them are...of questionable appropriateness)
and here's a joke-
one muffin in an oven says to another muffin "it's hot in here" then the other muffin says "OH MY GOSH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
i think i'm dying...cuz i just saw a little piece of heaven
"you dropped something" "what?" "my jaw"
do you have a bandaid? cuz i just scraped my knee when i fell for you
its not my fault i fell in love, you're the one that tripped me
you must be a magician, cuz every time i look at you everyone else dissapears
(and there are lots more pick up lines but some of them are...of questionable appropriateness)
and here's a joke-
one muffin in an oven says to another muffin "it's hot in here" then the other muffin says "OH MY GOSH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
DiaClaireNoel- Olympian Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Athena
Number of posts : 642
Location : locked in a basement
Humor : "Finnick?" I say, "Maybe some pants?" He looks down at his legs as if noticing his outfit for the first time. Then he whips off his hospital gown leaving him in just his underwear. "Why? Do you find this"- he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose -"distracting?"
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2010-02-21
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by NataliaMelodyLevi2 Mon Jun 21, 2010 10:48 pm
Haha. I love pick up lines...but a certian...buddy of mine *cough cough Leo* doesn't know ANY appropriate pick up lines...seriously scarred for life.
NataliaMelodyLevi2- Undetermined Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Zeus
Number of posts : 118
Location : Where ever you want me to be <3
Humor : Wind....one word. That's all. Wind
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2010-03-02
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by smoothmoves97 Mon Jun 21, 2010 10:57 pm
A response to a corny pickup line:
Line: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.
Response: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd leave it the same, with N and O together.
Line: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.
Response: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd leave it the same, with N and O together.
smoothmoves97- Big Three Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Artemis
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Age : 23
Location : Somewhere over the rainbow (the skies are not blue at this moment in time)
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Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2010-05-03
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by NataliaMelodyLevi2 Mon Jun 21, 2010 11:31 pm
I know one really similar to that...not exactly how shall we say g-rated tho. It's funny tho.
NataliaMelodyLevi2- Undetermined Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Zeus
Number of posts : 118
Location : Where ever you want me to be <3
Humor : Wind....one word. That's all. Wind
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Registration date : 2010-03-02
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by percabethsprincess Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:33 am
NataliaMelodyLevi2 wrote:I know one really similar to that...not exactly how shall we say g-rated tho. It's funny tho.
same here! lol. but yeah i would never say that on this board... brakes the no cursing rule. lol.
percabethsprincess- Big Three Demigod
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Humor : sometimes i like to park my car next to a high way road and point a hair dryer at people to see if they slow down...
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Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by NataliaMelodyLevi2 Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:43 am
Yup. And I'm not a rule breaker...most of the time
NataliaMelodyLevi2- Undetermined Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Zeus
Number of posts : 118
Location : Where ever you want me to be <3
Humor : Wind....one word. That's all. Wind
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2010-03-02
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by percabethsprincess Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:53 am
NataliaMelodyLevi2 wrote:Yup. And I'm not a rule breaker...most of the time :)
haha, same here!
percabethsprincess- Big Three Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Aphrodite
Number of posts : 1144
Location : wishing i was at a juicy couture store
Humor : sometimes i like to park my car next to a high way road and point a hair dryer at people to see if they slow down...
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2010-06-08
NataliaMelodyLevi2- Undetermined Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Zeus
Number of posts : 118
Location : Where ever you want me to be <3
Humor : Wind....one word. That's all. Wind
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2010-03-02
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by percabethsprincess Tue Jun 22, 2010 1:31 am
NataliaMelodyLevi2 wrote:Lol nice.
lol, i am starting to like you. lol.
percabethsprincess- Big Three Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Aphrodite
Number of posts : 1144
Location : wishing i was at a juicy couture store
Humor : sometimes i like to park my car next to a high way road and point a hair dryer at people to see if they slow down...
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2010-06-08
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by smoothmoves97 Tue Jun 22, 2010 1:45 am
Let's not break the "no getting off topic" rule!
Laugh and the class laughs with you, but you get detention alone.
Laugh and the class laughs with you, but you get detention alone.
smoothmoves97- Big Three Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Artemis
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Age : 23
Location : Somewhere over the rainbow (the skies are not blue at this moment in time)
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Registration date : 2010-05-03
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by percabethsprincess Tue Jun 22, 2010 2:02 am
smoothmoves97 wrote:Let's not break the "no getting off topic" rule!
Laugh and the class laughs with you, but you get detention alone.
lol, right, sorry! lol
i dont think this is funny but i am trying to get back on topic! lol.
this would be in respon to a pick up line.
girl :where you every dropped on your head as a baby?
boy who tried a lame pick up line on her: no why?
girl: cause you act like it.
percabethsprincess- Big Three Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Aphrodite
Number of posts : 1144
Location : wishing i was at a juicy couture store
Humor : sometimes i like to park my car next to a high way road and point a hair dryer at people to see if they slow down...
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2010-06-08
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by NataliaMelodyLevi2 Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:56 am
"I don't have a problem with caffine...I have a problem without it."
"drink coffee, do dumb things faster with more energy"
"I dream of a better place where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned."
"drink coffee, do dumb things faster with more energy"
"I dream of a better place where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned."
NataliaMelodyLevi2- Undetermined Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Zeus
Number of posts : 118
Location : Where ever you want me to be <3
Humor : Wind....one word. That's all. Wind
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Registration date : 2010-03-02
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by DiaClaireNoel Tue Jun 22, 2010 2:04 pm
what do i do when i see someone extremeliy gorgeous? i stare, smile, and when i get tired i put down the mirror
it takes skill to trip over flat surfaces (if that's true, then i'm pretty skilled)
it takes skill to trip over flat surfaces
(if that's true, then i'm pretty skilled)
DiaClaireNoel- Olympian Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Athena
Number of posts : 642
Location : locked in a basement
Humor : "Finnick?" I say, "Maybe some pants?" He looks down at his legs as if noticing his outfit for the first time. Then he whips off his hospital gown leaving him in just his underwear. "Why? Do you find this"- he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose -"distracting?"
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2010-02-21
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by PJO-geek Tue Jun 22, 2010 4:13 pm
Lol, me too! Some of the time.... Anyway, can we do movie/book quotes? I think so. Here's a few.
Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment pg 62
Gazzy: "Do we have any chlorine? It seems to be kind of explosive when mixed with other stuff."
Iggy: "Like what, your socks?"
MR: Angel Experiment pg 147
Fang: "Can I interest you in some desert rat?"
Nudge: "Oh, no!"
-Popping something into his mouth, Fang chewed and swallowed loudly.-
Fang: "Can't get fresher."
Nudge: "Ugh!!"
Fang: "Okay then, how about some kabobs? You get the vegetables."
MR: AE
Max: "Fang! Let's get out of here. A Ouija (wee-gee; a Ouiga board is a fortune telling thing...) board just told me to save the world!"
MR: AE pg 1
Max: The funny thing about facing imminent death is that it snaps everything else into perspective.
MR: AE
Max: I was looking into the fridge with a naive hope that maybe the food fairies had come-when the back of my neck prickled. I straightened quickly and spun around. "Will you quit that?"
Fang: "Quit what? Breathing?"
That's all for now, I'll put more up soon. =)
Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment pg 62
Gazzy: "Do we have any chlorine? It seems to be kind of explosive when mixed with other stuff."
Iggy: "Like what, your socks?"
MR: Angel Experiment pg 147
Fang: "Can I interest you in some desert rat?"
Nudge: "Oh, no!"
-Popping something into his mouth, Fang chewed and swallowed loudly.-
Fang: "Can't get fresher."
Nudge: "Ugh!!"
Fang: "Okay then, how about some kabobs? You get the vegetables."
MR: AE
Max: "Fang! Let's get out of here. A Ouija (wee-gee; a Ouiga board is a fortune telling thing...) board just told me to save the world!"
MR: AE pg 1
Max: The funny thing about facing imminent death is that it snaps everything else into perspective.
MR: AE
Max: I was looking into the fridge with a naive hope that maybe the food fairies had come-when the back of my neck prickled. I straightened quickly and spun around. "Will you quit that?"
Fang: "Quit what? Breathing?"
That's all for now, I'll put more up soon. =)
PJO-geek- Olympian Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Posidon
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Registration date : 2009-10-17
Re: Funny sayings and quotes
by smoothmoves97 Tue Jun 22, 2010 6:35 pm
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
- A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
- On the other hand you have different fingers.
- Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.
- I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
- I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
- He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.
- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
- It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
- You can't have everything....where would you put it?
- Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
- The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
smoothmoves97- Big Three Demigod
- Imortal Parent : Artemis
Number of posts : 2233
Age : 23
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Humor : If you see a turtle without its shell, is it homeless or naked?
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